


first comes love

by truthbealiar



Series: sansa and theon sitting in a tree (k-i-s-s-i-n-g) [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cruise Ships, F/F, F/M, Secret Relationship, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 11:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19084180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truthbealiar/pseuds/truthbealiar
Summary: THEON:Is it normal to feel like I’m going to have a fucking heart attack every time I think about telling Sansa how I’m so fucking in love with her?YARA:typing…YARA:typing…YARA:typing…THEON:Answer me, coward- or -Theon and Sansa are coerced onto a couples cruise. Things donotgo as Arya planned.





	first comes love

**THEON:** I can’t believe you fucking did this to us

 **ARYA:** nut up motherfucker

 **THEON:** Catelyn Stark is a fucking saint, show some goddamn respect

 **ARYA:** oh right, sisterfucker

 **ARYA:** doesn’t have the same ring to it

 **ARYA:** speaking of rings…

 **THEON:** I hate you and I’m going to drown you in the fucking ocean

* * *

 

S **ANSA:** I just want you to know that I am extremely cross with you

 **ARYA:** look, i’ll tell you the same thing i told theon

 **ARYA:** since he’s not going to be the one to make the move

 **ARYA:** nut up and go get your man

 **SANSA:** Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do for us here

 **ARYA:** you mean fix your abysmal love life?

 **ARYA:** i better get some goddamn gratitude

 **SANSA:** But tricking Theon and myself onto a couples cruise with you and Gendry and Marge and Robb is completely inappropriate

 **ARYA:** how so?

 **SANSA:** You need to let Theon and I sort this out on our own time

 **ARYA:** hmmm that’s going to be a no from me dawg

 **SANSA:** You’re pushing me towards agreeing with Theon’s plan to toss you overboard

* * *

 

Arya threw her phone down onto the pastel striped lawn pool chair with a huff, before throwing _herself_ onto the same chair with just as much indignation. Gendry watched with amusement, peering over the top of the obnoxiously pink sunglasses decorated with foam hearts that he wore proudly. Arya Stark, though she would never admit it, was a certified dramatic bitch™. In fact, Gendry was pretty convinced that the majority of the time, all of the Stark children were trying to be more dramatic than the other.

Hot Pie blamed Cat, but Gendry had a sneaking suspicion Ned Stark was actually the culprit. No one would believe it was him, which was like, the ultimate dramatic ho move, if he were ever to reveal just how much he lived for the drama. It wasn’t just Ned’s kids who were drama queens either. Jon Snow could brood like no other, and basically walked around life as if he were in a neverending audition for original emo prince Hamlet.

(Besides, Gendry had once caught Ned watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians with Sansa when he had been sneaking downstairs to get a drink of water, and Gendry _knew_ that no one else in the Stark family watched Vanderpump Rules, yet it was always in the Hulu queue.)

His not-girlfriend-girlfriend was also equally dramatic about being _called_ dramatic, so Gendry didn’t say a word, and simply waited for her to share what was on her mind. Quiet wasn’t a word he would use when it came to Arya Stark.

“Theon and Sansa are apparently teaming up, not to bang it out _as intended_ , but to try and murder me.”

Gendry shrugged his shoulders, and changed the angle of the obnoxious tanning board he held in his hands. “Sounds like a good start to me. Murder is basically our foreplay.”

A couple walking past overheard Gendry, and gave him matching, withering stares. Her cheerfully held up a middle finger, enjoying their gasps of surprised offense. They looked like the sort who had daily brunch, and ironed their socks, and probably voted for Brexit. They could probably use some more kinkiness in their lives.

“Yes, but I want this to _work_ !” Arya whined. “I _need_ this to work. I’m so fucking sick of the best person I know being lonely and miserable and in love. And Theon is a fucking moron, but Sansa wants him, so whatever.”

Gendry sighed. He was fully aware that the only reason Arya had agreed to something as romantic and out of character as a _couples cruise_ was because Gendry had convinced her that she could use it as an opportunity to get Theon and Sansa to finally admit their feelings for the other.

Truth be told, Gendry was pulling for that outcome as well. Theon was one of his closest mates, and he was so tired of hearing how besotted he was. Honestly, Theon was worse for Sansa than even Gendry was with Arya. He wasn’t as bad as Robb, only because no one was as bad as Robb.

Setting the tanning board aside, Gendry stood and stretched, ignoring the heated, appreciative gazes he felt from a few pairs of eyes (including those of Marge’s brother and his husband) and moved to hover over Arya’s deck chair awkwardly.

Sure enough, as he let his head loll to the side, he saw her roll her eyes and let out a small giggle. Gendry had learned at the beginning of their not-relationship, that Arya found it endearing whenever he did something slightly ridiculous. Since that was basically how Gendry walked through life, he found it fairly easy to accomplish.

“Hey. We’re on a beautiful boat. Theon loves the ocean, and this whole thing is about as romantic as it can get, which Sansa loves. There are a million and one cheesy couple activities, and if they want to do basically anything, they’re going to have to pair up with each other. It’s going to happen Arya, I promise.”

Gendry’s voice was soft, but grew rougher as he spoke, noting the way Arya’s eyes darkened, and how her fingertips began gently trailing down his bare chest, causing shivers to ripple down his spine.

“Uh huh,” she said, the smirk in her voice so obvious that Gendry wanted to reach over and lick it off her lips. “Enough talking about them. Let’s go break in our room.”

* * *

 

 **ARYA:** alright fam, the ship has officially taken off, so please place your bets as to when stupid squid and beautiful sister are going to shack up

 **RICKON:** Did anyone else read that last bit in a vaguely Czech accent?

 **BRAN:** Since you’re the only one who went on a Jane the Virgin binge recently, I’m going to say probably not

 **MARGAERY:** Well now that you’ve pointed it out I read it that way. And Arya dear, put me down for Saturday.

 **ARYA:** good catch ricky. and don’t call me dear.

 **RICKON:** Don’t call me Ricky. FYI I hate you all for not bringing me with you on a cruise.

 **ROBB:** It’s a couples cruise mate.

 **RICKON:** So? I’ve got a girlfriend!

 **BRAN:** You mean Lyanna’s got a dutiful servant

 **RICKON:** Fuck off

 **RICKON:** I’ve been promoted to butler

 **ROBB:** It’s not even like all of us are here!

 **RICKON:** Yeah, why isn’t Jon with you guys?

 **ARYA:** he might be dating tormund. or ygritte. either way, he’s dating one or both of them, and neither are the kind to show up for a couple’s cruise.

 **BRAN:** Um, neither are you

 **GENDRY:** Are you kidding? They have couples massages AND they’re showing a John Wick marathon.

 **ARYA:** also three different wine tastings, and i want to prove i can swim faster than theon

 **MARGAERY:** Arya dear, he was on the Olympic swim team

 **ARYA:** WAS. and quit calling me dear. now he just teaches kindergarten, i bet i could beat him.

 **ROBB:** To be fair, teaching kindergarten is probably more intense than his Olympic training.

* * *

 

 **THEON:** God

 **THEON:** Is it normal to feel like I’m going to have a fucking heart attack every time I think about telling Sansa how I’m so fucking in love with her?

 **YARA:** _typing…_

 **YARA:** _typing…_

 **YARA:** _typing…_

 **THEON:** Answer me, coward

 **YARA:** The fuck did you just say?

 **THEON:** Something I regretted instantly and wished I could take it back

 **THEON:** Can you get something back once it’s in the cloud?

 **YARA:** Did you see Sex Tape?

 **THEON:** That shitty movie with Jason Segel and Cameron Diaz?

 **THEON:** Of course I saw it

 **YARA:** Then you would know, once something is in the cloud you can’t get it back

 **THEON:** I feel like there’s a lot to unpack here

 **THEON:** Namely the fact that both of us have seen that shitty movie

 **YARA:** Well in your case, I’m blaming your wife

 **YARA:** Sansa

 **YARA:** Who you’ve been married to for five years

 **YARA:** The mother of your two children who I am currently feeding all the chocolate

 **YARA:** So to answer your earlier question, no that’s not fucking normal

 **YARA:** But neither are you

 **THEON:** I hope they puke on your floor.

 **THEON:** Also they need belly rubs at least three times a day and they howl at thunderstorms

* * *

 

 **YARA:** Apparently that cruise my idiot brother is on is a couples cruise

 **YARA:** He’s freaking out about telling Sansa he loves her

 **DANY:** ……

 **DANY:**  What the fuck I thought they were already married?

* * *

 

“Abso-fucking- _lutely not_.”

Sansa frowned at him from the doorway of the cabin’s bathroom, confusion written across her face. “What?”

Theon swallowed, an incredibly difficult feat, considering how dry his throat had suddenly become. “You can’t wear that.”

Sansa looked down at her dress in surprise, before rolling her eyes. The dress in question was a tiny black number, with the smallest of straps holding it up. It was cut low against her cleavage, and flared out underneath the bust so that it didn’t cling too tightly. She looked like a fucking vision, and Theon had felt his heart seize up the moment she stepped out of the bathroom. His sister was right, he _had_ been married for five years. But it didn’t stop the way his heart still raced every time Sansa so much as smiled at him. He supposed it was a good thing that he was still so in love with her, after five years of marriage.

Even if said marriage had been an accident in the first place.

“Why not?” Sansa demanded, her brow arched.

“Because -” Theon began to splutter, “Because it’s too low-cut. You can’t wear your necklace,” he declared triumphantly. It was true. The delicate silver chain that Sansa always wore was too short to hide her wedding ring underneath that dress.

It was then that Theon noticed the silver ring on her left hand, looking for all the world like it belonged there. _It did_.

His eyes flickered between the soft curve of her smile and the ring she wore. He swallowed again and opened his mouth, only to find that his voice wasn’t quite working properly.

“You sure?” He finally managed to croak.

Sansa nodded, her blue eyes sparkling with something that looked like excitement.

Keeping their marriage a secret had never really been an issue for the two of them. So little had changed - that is to say, they were just as publicly besotted with one another, but now they each _knew_ what the other was thinking - that it had been pretty fun. Sneaking around, having a secret relationship, trading laughs at Arya’s increasing despair, and the Stark family’s ludicrous schemes to get them together. It had never meant to last this long, it simply...did. But they were ready, they both were. They had to be.

Still, Theon hadn’t expected to be quite so emotional at seeing the ring on Sansa’s finger.

Instantly, he reached underneath his black v-neck and pulled his own chain, fumbling with the clasp, and slipping his wedding ring onto his finger as well. In a fluid movement, he stood and crowded his _wife_ , hand wrapping carefully around the back of her neck, and pulling her close. He saw the way her eyes darkened, and he smirked. For some reason, Sansa had a thing for the ballcaps Theon would sometimes wear, such as the white one currently on his head. He couldn’t explain it, since Sansa loved running her fingers through his curls - a habit Theon loved in equal measure - but he planned to take full advantage.

“Why today?” He breathed carefully, taking in the way her breath hitched as he let his free hand trail down her waist. “We could play our game at dinner, and tell them tomorrow.” Their game being a charade of who could be more seductive and obvious - to the complete obliviousness of the entire Stark family and respective significant others. To date, only Ygritte and Tormund had figured them out, but citing some ‘redhead code of honor’ that Theon was sixty-three percent certain was completely made up, they swore secrecy.

He figured they just liked laughing to watch Jon pout at being left out.

Sansa shook her head, causing some of her silky red strands to get caught in between Theon’s fingers and the pale skin of her neck that he longed to mark with his teeth.

“No,” she sighed, breathless. “We won’t last for long, and we have to tell them soon.”

Theon frowned. “Tomorrow isn’t soon enough?”

Sansa bit her lip and glanced away, and a smirk began growing on Theon’s lips, wide and wicked.

“There’s a bet isn’t there.”

His wife pouted at him. “Bran is already so _smug_ , and I have it on good authority from Ygritte that he put his money on tomorrow, and if he wins I’m going to scream.”

Theon tilted his head back and laughed, a full, delightful sound. By the time he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against Sansa’s, her pout had already faded, and her lips had softened into a smile, parted ever so slightly to give Theon a glimpse of the mouth he craved. She loved hearing him laugh, she had told him more than once. He tried to do it more often around her, and found it the easiest thing in the world, when once it had seemed near-impossible.

“Who’s got tomorrow?” His tone was light - a contrast to the darkening of Sansa’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” she said, the tone of her voice setting Theon’s blood aflame. She moved even closer, as though such a thing was possible, her leg slipping in between Theon’s, and he had to bite back a moan. His hands slid down Sansa’s body, pausing at the top of her thighs, where his fingers began playing with the hem, sending shivers down her spine. “I don’t care.”

And in that moment, Theon didn’t care either. He ceased caring about anything other than leaving as many visible marks on his wife as possible, to match the silver wedding ring resting on her left hand.

* * *

 

 **ARYA:** I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS

 **ARYA:** I am livid.

 **RICKON:** Woah, you’re actually using proper caps

 **MARGAERY:** I’m quite put out myself

 **ROBB:** I can’t believe they kept this from us for five years!

 **BRAN:** Speak for yourself

 **ARYA:** fuck off bran, there’s no fucking way you knew

 **BRAN:** I didn’t, but Tormund and Ygritte knew

 **GENDRY:** Wait they knew? Not fair, they’re part of the Stark Significant Others Club! They’re supposed to dish on stuff like this!

 **ROBB:** You have a club??? For being in a relationship with a Stark???

 **MARGAERY:** We meet ever third Tuesday of the month, love. It takes a village you know.

 **ROBB:** Would Theon or Sansa be the one to join your little 'club'?

 **GENDRY:** Sansa's the Stark, but Theon's way more stressful as a person.

 **MARGAERY:** Let's table the discussion until our next meeting.

 **RICKON:**  Hold up. How do you know for sure that Tormund and Ygritte knew?

 **BRAN:** They sent me a selfie of them laughing

 **ARYA:** oh, well that doesn’t mean much

 **BRAN:** The selfie was from Brienne’s wedding. Theon and Sansa are dry-humping in the background, and he’s got his hand up Sansa’s shirt.

 **ROBB:** HE WHAT???

 **MARGAERY:** They’re married love

 **ROBB:** Oh right.

 **ROBB:** I’m going to have to get used to that

 **MARGAERY:** We have to. Since it's been five years since it happened!

 **RICKON:** Yeah, but can you blame them?

 **RICKON:** Imagine having to tell Mom that she's not going to get a fancy wedding because you got hitched in Vegas by Elvis.

 **ARYA:** THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY THING!

 **GENDRY:** Uhhhh

 **GENDRY:** Was that supposed to go into a different chat?

 **ARYA:** no, we’re getting married in a week, but it’s not special now that sansa’s already done it

 **GENDRY:** Okay that’s cool. Totally cool. Chill, I’m chill

 **RICKON:** *Narrator voice* He was not chill.

 **BRAN:** Are you still watching Jane the Virgin?!

* * *

 

 **YARA:** Your dogs are so fucking spoiled

 **YARA:** If you two ever have human kids they’ll be terrible

 **THEON:** Well I guess we’ll find out in about six and a half months

 **YARA:** ………

 **YARA:** If you let Sansa name Margaery fucking Tyrell godmother over me, what is dead will remain dead forever

 **YARA:** And what is dead will be you

 **THEON:** Oh please

 **THEON:** We all know Robb is going to be godmother

 **YARA:** ...Acceptable

 **YARA:** Congrats baby bro

 **THEON:** :)

**Author's Note:**

> inspiration for sansa's and theon's looks:  
> 
> 
>   
> comments and kudos are my lifeblood. come scream at me on my [tumblr](http://joygreys.tumblr.com/%22).


End file.
